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Recognition

Psychologists say the easiest sign of something dubious is what happens when a conversation begins. If the attempts to discuss family finances end up with the diversion of the subject, there is a lack of understanding, avoidance of the eye or a diminution of the topic – something is not quite right.

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There are a number of red lights that you should not miss:

  • You found bills or statements that you have no idea what they are and where they are.
  • You have been suspended from banking on a general account and the other side finds a number of excuses not to get a new password.
  • There is money that neither of them “remembers” for what they have gone. Not that it is impossible, but in some cases, the memory is not the problem.
  • Expensive new benefits appear and your partner claims to have been bought at unprecedented low prices.
  • The sudden desire for a strict financial discipline in relation to family money … may be that it only applies to one.
  • The partner has addictions or addictive hobbies.https://media2.giphy.com/media/xT1R9LUBYOXB4b8E6Y/giphy.gif?cid=e1bb72ff5a1fd747343637432ea67576
  •  Drinking alcohol, cigarettes, supplements can become a serious expense and is likely to be hidden. The same goes for betting, gambling, and the lottery – usually starts with a bit of fun, but gradually the spending increases because of the apparent sense of a greater chance of profit.
  • Extraordinary and inexplicable generosity. Often, cheating financially develops a guilty conscience and tries to compensate for it through generosity towards the partner – gifts, excursions,
  • Accuses you of interfering with your privacy. The money talks are welcomed with arguments such as “These are my money and they are my job,” “I am an adult, I can think“, “Am I ask you what do you spend” etc.
  • Changes in habits and extraordinary secrecy. For example, it suddenly starts working later or goes out earlier, browser history is always thoroughly deleted, it puts passwords everywhere.

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  • You have sensed love / sexual infidelity. Not necessarily, but in almost all cases in men, sometimes in women, the side link is associated with extra costs. Often large.
  • It happened before. If you have already gone through such a problem, there is no guarantee that the promises will no longer be fulfilled. Better always be on the alert.
  • Intuition. There are cases where there are no visible signs of financial infidelity. If something goes wrong and you have strange feelings in your stomach when you think about it, it is possible to call your intuition. Maybe you should look for traces.

Do not forget that you are not sinless (no one is). Try to forgive.

Do not forget that you are not sinless Click To Tweet

Try to put yourself in the position of your partner and see what attitude you would like to get in that case too. Be fully open to your involvement in managing family finances.

Do not be too good, of course. It is not impossible for you to come together with a person whose characteristics you have not judged sufficiently well. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it’s just about money or not, maybe the way for you is just to quit it.

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